I've never felt more free to be myself than now, although it's still a journey I'm on. And I've learnt that being authentically 'you' is the greatest gift you can give. Because God made you uniquely yourself in all your complex beauty - there is no other person on this earth or who has ever lived that is like you. Only you can fulfil your role and, joined with Christ by his Holy Spirit, you are so powerful for good. But we can get buried under piles of...rubble over the years. I was reflecting this morning in how I felt so powerless and voiceless when I was abused at age 14 and took guilt upon myself that was not mine. And that started a trend in me that lasted fo nearly 50 years! I found myself in controlling situations for long periods of my life and not having the assertiveness and self respect to stand up for myself. That how I lost touch with my authenticity to a considerable extent, my 'mehood' gradually getting buried by the fear of man, peop...
Have you heard of a thing called extreme ironing? Its when people iron in the most bizarre of places, like on top of a mountain or whilst riding a surfboard! Then take a selfie and post it on social media. So there's ironing (which I quite enjoy) and there's extreme ironing... ...And there are blessings (of which I have received so many) and there are extreme blessings. I count giving birth and being mother to my two children extreme blessings. But let me tell you about something in the 'deep blessing' category I was pondering this morning. When I was a young Christian I was very inspired by the life and writings of a man called Floyd McClung. Especially a book called 'Living on the Devil's Doorstep' which described his and his family's experience of living in an apartment in Amsterdam, right by the Red Light district. How, having been part of Youth With a Mission (YWAM) for some years by then, he spent his life and energy to show the love of Jesus t...
Diary entry 19.8.22... Felt like I was being told 'You can make heavy weather of situations, or you can look for the rays of sunshine - it's up to you.' (So this post are for people who, like me, internalise pain and carry it deep inside, finding hard to just have a good cry and let it all out. Not for those blessed with a positive, glass half full attitude already - you are where I'm seeking to get to!) Suddenly I realised that I've been Mrs Heavyweather for most of my life. My natural reaction to difficult situations for years has been to be overcome with deep, heavy, 'end of the world' type emotions. True, I've been through some stuff - the breakdown of my 28 year marriage for instance, which was agony at the time, and I've only now come to terms with it. Being committed to a christian community with heartfelt loyalty for many years, then finding out about the sexual, financial and power manipulation that had been going on in the background a...
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