JULIET'S MUSINGS

  Diary entry 19.8.22... Felt like I was being told 'You can make heavy weather of situations, or you can look for the rays of sunshine - it's up to you.' (So this post are for people who, like me, internalise pain and carry it deep inside, finding hard to just have a good cry and let it all out.  Not for those blessed with a positive, glass half full attitude already - you are where I'm seeking to get to!) Suddenly I realised that I've been Mrs Heavyweather for most of my life.  My natural reaction to difficult situations for years has been to be overcome with deep, heavy, 'end of the world' type emotions. True, I've been through some stuff - the breakdown of my 28 year marriage for instance, which was agony at the time, and I've only now come to terms with it.  Being committed to a christian community with heartfelt loyalty for many years, then finding out about the sexual, financial and power manipulation that had been going on in the background a...

  I've only recently realised that I'm a chronic over-thinker and need lots of time to process, whether it be the emotional challenges I've faced, issues with my loved ones, world events, spiritual realities, podcasts I've heard, stuff I've watched on the telly...If I don't try and sort it all out I'm like a computer with lots of programmes running at the same time, my thinking slows down and sometimes my heart gets frozen. This probably accounts for the insomnia I've also suffered from for decades because I've gone to bed with way too much on my mind (sleeping much better at the moment!) A few weeks ago I put the light out to go to sleep and as usual found myself reviewing various different things - emotions to do with relationships, inner conflicts, anxieties over the children (it never goes!), what or how I should have said or done something earlier in the day, who dunnit in the crime mystery I'd just watched etc etc - an endless tickertape. A...

  ...the books that they read!  No, this isn't a night-time revelation but just another way of introducing myself, as I am a bit of a book worm.  It all started when my auntie Violet (not a real auntie, a family friend who once fell down a man-hole that was outside our gate - but I digress..).  My auntie Vi took me to the local library when I was 7 and signed me up.  After that I had 3 or 4 books out on loan every week or two and the addiction was started.  Also, I was allowed to walk down to the library on my own from that young age, so it was a delight to go and visit my new obsession and feel grown-up and free.  There was also the Ancient Book House in Reigate which I frequented every Saturday afternoon, walking 2 or 3 miles each way and spending hours browsing among the shelves. But I digress again... So...I've got a book I read whilst eating breakfast, usually something arty but currently this one which is a mixture of art and poetry, written for ...

  Hi friends, Juliet here! I've started this blog to share a bit more about my life/inspirations/inner journey etc, as my instagram account is mainly about my artistic and daily life in France (if you're interested see @julietross777).  It just seemed a shame that all my deep thoughts (!), night-time revelations and occasional poetry will probably get lost or sent to a charity shop when I leave this mortal coil. To introduce myself a bit more - I'm one who feels that she  has lived several lives already (perhaps many of you feel the same when you reach a certain age...).  Currently on probably life number 5 that started 2 years ago when I moved back to France, which I call the 'Phoenix Rising' phase.  Before now I've lived as a drug taking hippie, a nurse in East London, a member of a christian community (nearly 20 years), a wife (28 years), lived and worked in France (4 years) a mother to two amazing children who are my greatest joy (forever), a divorcee (2 yea...